Here's a little background on him, me, us...

I'm using aliases here because we don't want mean people being, well, mean.

Chuck - the "him" in this equation. Married before with 2 children, both boys. They are currently 6 and 3 (for 2 more weeks anyway). His 2nd child was not expected for him and there are lots of feelings of resentment and anger surrounding conception and birth. Not the little dude's fault. Chuck and "Misery" (our cute little nickname for the ex) should have known better. But this world is full of surprises that turn out to be totally ok in the end. Part of the anger portion comes because Chuck was sure the child wasn't his. But to his surprise the little dude is his. Another portion of of resentment is because that surprise cost Chuck an additional year of custody fights and being stuck in a legal marriage he did not want to be in. Not to mention a lifetime of monetary commitment he didn't plan on. But I repeat - sometimes surprises, no matter how painful in the beginning, turn out to be great in the end. Chuck and Misery's biggest points of contention are the fact the other still exists. It sucks.

Alise - the "me" in this equation. Married before with 2 children, a girl and a boy. They are currently 9 and 6 (well, almost 7). My first marriage was dull, borning, not full of much love or passion. My ex is a decent person who just really didn't love me. He was looking for his mother and I just didn't fit the bill. Our biggest points of contention these days deal with money (he doesn't like being fiscally responsible to our children) and scheduling.

Alise & Chuck - the "us". We met at work. We were both married at the time and I was expecting my 2nd child, my son, and Chuck was expecting his first child. We became friends. We remained friends for a long time not really seeing each other much as our schedules were quite different. As I was going through my separation when my son was 2 my schedule changed and Chuck and I often had lunch together. He was also going through a very difficult time with his separation and discovery that his soon-to-be ex was pregnant with a child he didn't want. It was difficult to watch my friend go through a very long, drawn out, painful divorce while I was able to start moving on with my life.

Fast forward a bit. Chuck's 2nd child was born. He was finally able to finalize his divorce after 2 1/2 years of efforts to that end. He and I began dating. He likes to say now that he always "had an eye" for me. I care so very much for him and our relationship grew out of caring and friendship. I still have trouble opening my heart but with him I try harder than with anyone.

We dated and started to think that even with 4 children we could maybe make a life together. I sold my house and we bought one together that could accomodate our large blend. About a month before we got married I found out that we were expecting the third part of the "us" in our equation. We'll go into that later.

Such is the beginning evolution of our life together. A life that isn't always together and can feel as separate as if we never met at times. But that's what you get when you have his, mine, and ours. (Whoa - I wrapped that up nicely, didn't I?? My old English teacher would be proud).